If you’re like me, you’re bored of wearing the same old materials, day after day after day. Cotton, wool, leather - we off that. We’re different. Me and you? We’re not even cut from a different cloth, we’re cut from a whole different material. From now on, real men wear wooden clothes - Where my clogs at?! As if I needed to tell you, these wooden bow ties are crafted from “the highest quality hard to find hardwoods and the best fabrics and leathers.” Obvi. why else would I have just burned all of my silk ties? Because fuck silk - that’s why. If you’re still wearing non-wooden accessories in 2013, you’re officially a herb. Don’t be surprised if you walk past me on the sidewalk and I act like I don’t know you.